Oblivious
by Siriusly345
Summary: James is in love with Lily. James thinks Lily doesn't even know who he is. Lily is in love with James. Lily thinks that James doesn't even know who she is. Can a t-shirt convince them otherwise?


**_James' POV _**

I stared across the crowded Transfiguration room at the women of my dreams. I watched as she nibbled on the end of her quill and tossed her violent colored hair over her shoulder. I saw her glance behind herself and watched with a burning hope rising in my stomach, a hope that she would look at me and notice me. But all she did was look over my head and up at the clock above me. A frown replaced my once dreamy smile and I felt the familiar feel of rejection replace my hope. Just when I believe she might truly look at me instead of letting her gorgeous eyes pass through me like I wasn't even there in the first place; like the ghosts that float in the corridors of Hogwarts regularly, she's just looking at the clock in boredom.

I know that Padfoot had mentioned many times that I shouldn't let the hope even rise up because my obsession with one Lily Evans was "pathetic" and "childish." He said that I was beating myself up by believing that one day she would realise. That one day she would just jump me and confess her deep feelings of love and admiration for me. But that would never happen and even though I've always ignored him, I'm starting to believe he's right. And nothing is worse than that feeling. The feeling that the person you want more than anything, and would do anything for, is not going to ever feel the same for you as you do for her. That she'll never feel the need to hold you in her arms and never let go. Or, even, talk to you and laugh with you with vigor. I feel crushed, utterly betrayed.

I was James Potter. I could get anything. With two parents as successful Aurors, I was spoiled as a child, and even right now. I was taught that a Potter could do and get anything he wanted. This was only reinforced when I entered Hogwarts and formed the infamous troublemaker group named The Marauders. I was the unofficial leader of the most popular four boys in the entire school. I was the golden boy with good looks, numerous friends, wit, charm, and top grades. Everyone liked me, especially the girls. They followed me everywhere and I'm pretty sure I once walked into a meeting for the James Potter Fan Club in my dorm. That was a rather awkward moment. I mean, why did they have to have that meeting in my dorm? Seriously, I was perfectly fine being completely oblivious to the existence of this club dedicated to me that currently had 134 members. But no, they had to make their existence known by demanding to have monthly meetings in my dorm to "enforce authenticity." What kind of rubbish reason is that? Sigh. I'm sorry, the James Potter Fan Club had their monthly meeting yesterday and I was forced to sleep outside of my Head's dorm with my back forced awkwardly against the wall. And what made that even more awkward was the fact that when I woke up I had lipstick stains all over my cheek and chest; my trousers and favourite shirt happened to be gone…I wonder where they went? I had thought sarcastically this morning.

I've always been used to getting what I've wanted. Always but life has a screwed up way of not letting you achieve the one thing you've wanted more than anything. That's karma for you.

You see, since I was a spoiled kid as I grew up, I also happened to be very…cocky. Arrogant, if you will. I believed nobody was more talented, charming, witty, anything, than me. I was Merlin's gift to humans, girls to be more exact. This fact made me think that most people were below me. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't mean muggle-borns or half-bloods; I'm not into that bigotry shit. I mean, people that I just didn't seem to like. Basically, all Slytherins and anyone younger than me at Hogwarts. I'm not so proud of that now but that's what I was like before.

Now, when I say I believed they were beneath me, I mean that I not only verbally abused them but bullied them physically because of that thought. Mostly when I was bored, Sirius and I would scout out for any younger students that we could hex and have some "fun" with. I'm extremely ashamed of that behaviour now but back then I was just an immature 15 year old with a bad tendency to be extremely arrogant and bored at all times.

Normally, we just hexed them with simple first year spells that amused us to no end, for some reason, but the person we really let loose on was Severus Snape. I start glaring just at the mention of that imitation of a human.

Severus Snape was a greasy, inhumane, large-nosed, git, who I would love the pleasure to beat to a pulp at any time of the day; even now. Naturally, he was a Slytherin so that just added to our hatred of him. The reason I hate Snape so much is because he's just exactly the definition of what I hate: surly, dark haired, rude, and obsessed with the Dark Arts. It just so happens that Snape happens to be exactly like what I just described. There isn't a time when Snape doesn't have his over large nose stuck inside a book.

But the most important reason why I hate Snape to my core is because he has something I'm beginning to believe I'll never have. That's right. He has Lily. Ugh, not in _that_ way, they have more of a best friend sort of relationship. Let me explain, ever since Lily and Snape started school at Hogwarts they've been best friends. I don't see what Lily could possibly see in that thing but I'm dearly hoping it's not of any romantic nature. Now that I think about it…I would probably kill Snape before that happened…and I'm not too ashamed to admit it. You see how much I care for Lily? I would be willing to kill the competition just to have her. Although she probably wouldn't appreciate that, she's too caring to think that would ever be romantic. One of the other reasons I think I'm in love with her…

You have no idea how much it hurts to see the girl you could never have talking and laughing with the person you hate the most. To see them stand up together and hug before parting ways. It feels like your insides are burning, slowly but excruciatingly. Jealously runs through your veins like you're already racing blood and you turn away so nobody notices the tears of anguish beginning to emerge from your eyes. You feel hopeless, crushed, a shell of the vibrant man you used to be. Of course, your best friend notices your abrupt end of laughter and follows your gaze to the scene. He winces sympathetically and pats you on the back in consolation then nods to a second year walking by you at the moment. The gesture is simple and understood; you take out your wand and get ready to take out all your frustration and hopelessness on someone you deem to be beneath you.

Of course, this exact scene had happened in fifth year when I was at my peak of arrogance and immaturity. Since then the Lily and Snape situation has cleared up…for me, at least. Apparently, Snape had called Lily the M word and now every time Lily sees Snape she glares at him. I couldn't be happier…but after I heard him call Lily that, Padfoot and Moony had to hold me back each time Snape happened to walk by me in the hallways. I still haven't told Remus and Sirius why Snape came to breakfast with two black eyes and a broken nose two days later…although I think they kinda of assumed what had occurred when he entered the Great Hall three minutes after I did…

After all I had done to harm other people, I'm pretty sure karma has blocked me from getting the one thing I want. I have incredibly bad karma so I wouldn't be surprised if this was actually true.

I'm sure you're wondering how this "obsession" with Lily Evans started, right? Well before the fifth year I was completely oblivious to the existence of Lily Evans. Sure, I had seen her before but usually I had just looked at her for under a minute before letting my eyes pass over her. But I hadn't really let myself realise and treasure the true beauty of the woman I'll love until the rest of my years.

As I've mentioned before I was a right berk in fifth year. Arrogant, self-obsessed, womanizing, I was the average women's worst nightmare but still they flocked to me. I had started dating women and messing around with them in third year. I would go out with one girl for two weeks (during which I would typically already have my eye on another girl) until I dumped her and chased after another. I was girl obsessed and I didn't care who knew. I had gained a reputation for being the school's regular heartbreaker and womanizer. Albeit, not as bad as my fellow member of the Marauders, Sirius. He had an even shorter attention span than me. He would only stay with one girl for a week before moving onto the next and I'm pretty sure that he's sometimes overlapped girls, although he's never confirmed or denied it.

Because of my attitude toward the opposite sex, I hadn't seemed to pay much attention to the girl that is now constantly running through my mind. I know find that quite hard to believe because I simply can't ignore the vibrant red hair and green eyes from across a room. If I am in the same room as her, almost subconsciously, my eyes follow her every move. Kind of stalkerish but I can't help it. I'm still a little surprised that she hasn't noticed that someone is always watching her constantly. Although she hasn't even seemed to detect the very existence of a love sick fool named James Potter. Woe is me.

It was the beginning of the fifth year and I was standing outside of the Hogwarts train, waiting for the rest of my friends to arrive. I had been standing exactly twenty feet away from the entrance, on the 114th brick when I saw Lily Evans emerge from the wall. Or let me say, an angel emerge from the wall. It had started pouring right when she materialized and yet she looked even better. Over the summer it had seemed that she had filled out a little and turned from the younger version of McGonagall to a fresher and more relaxed woman. I loved it.

The rain had pelted onto her luminescent skin and I longed to swipe raindrops from her cheeks. In fact, I remember vividly my hand reaching out to do the exact motion before I hurriedly dropped my arm before someone noticed my oddity.

Her emerald eyes sparkled joyously as she raised her head and let the rain pour onto her pale skin while she laughed a giggle that seemed to tinkle, I'd imagine, like the bells that ring in the deepest and purest parts of heaven. The tears falling from the sky drenched her dazzling hair but at that moment she didn't seem to have a care in the world. And neither did I as I dreamily watched the beauty in front of me. At least until the bane of my existence stepped into the scene and my beloved dropped her head from the sky and shrieked joyously at the sight of her best friend. As the cavity underneath my chest, also known as my heart, ripped open mercilessly and excruciatingly, I felt my eyes narrow in a form of livid anger that I had never experienced nor witnessed. I had no idea why I was feeling this way (I can hear Sirius singing, "That's cause you're in looove. Prongs in lo-o-ove. Lo-o-ve! Lo-o-ve! We all fall in love!" as I think of this. Surprisingly it has a nice melody, despite the horrendous singing of Sirius Black being accompanied with it.) But I had the distinct feeling of ripping Snape's head from where it lay on Lily's shoulder with a dreamy expression. Yes, I did just say dreamy expression. After I saw that greasy half smile and dazed disgustingly black eyes I wanted to slap his face silly. But I restrained that need when I heard Sirius' loud voice calling my name. Plastering a very fake and strained smile, I turned around and greeted Sirius and the others quickly. After the greetings and such I hurriedly jumped on the train and turned my back on the happily chatting couple. Immediately I was struck with a wave of sadness but I pushed that back and focused on other things.

For the next several days I tried gathering my courage and speak to Lily but I always ended up walking four steps before walking back. I had practiced several times what I was going to say and had constructed a speech on why limitations should be put on cauldrons. I figured Lily seemed to be the intellectual type so I figured she'd want someone who she could talk to about intellectual topics. Thinking about it currently, that sounded like the most rubbish idea I could've possibly come up with.

I had actually managed to gather my courage and walk up to her in charms but looking down at the face that filled my dreams the only thing I managed to say was "uh…." before I scuttled the hell out of there. Besides, the speech I had come up with made me sound like a conceited and pompous idiot.

For 5th and 6th year, I managed to say two words to her. Yes and no. Yes, that is how pathetic I am. For two years I only managed to utter those words. No wonder she hasn't noticed me. I'm totally unmemorable.

Somehow, I received the position of Head Boy in my seventh year. Now, this might not have been as awesome if the Head Girl didn't happen to be…Lily Evans. I was so nervous when I first heard but then I realised that this was the perfect opportunity to show Lily that I was the perfect person for her…if I only got over my fear of even speaking to her.

Eventually, I did…after two months. The following fact I am quite proud of: I had two full fledged conversations with Lily Evans. The first one was about Head Boy and Girl responsibilities and the second was about the Christmas Ball. Yes, I did it and I made her smile 24 times and laugh…twice. I swear I think my face split apart because I was grinning so much.

Over those two conversations, I observed that not only was Lily beautiful but she was funny, caring, intelligent, everything I could ask for. And at that exact moment, Lily made me fall even more in love with her. Genuially.

But, still, she doesn't notice me.

I shake out of my day dream and realise that the Marauders and I are the last in the Transfiguration classroom in which I had spaced out in. Yay, at least I have lunch next…where the hell did my favourite shirt go?

**_Lily's POV _**

I stare dazedly at the figure of a sniggering James Potter at a late dinner in the kitchens. God, he is so adorable…and he doesn't even notice me. I don't think he ever will. Woe is me.

My obsession with staring at James Potter started in sixth year when I had caught him staring at me. This was the only time I ever caught him paying any attention to me. Anyway, I had caught him staring at me and I had shyly looked back thinking that he would turn away but he seemed to be in such a daze that he didn't. Just kept on looking. And I was glad because I had never really looked at James Potter before. And in those twenty minutes of staring I realised something. James Potter was kinda…beautiful. Like…not handsome or hot just…beautiful. What am I saying? I must be going delusional. That's it. I just ate too many biscuits last night and the mood boosting chemicals in dark chocolate is messing with my brain…and sanity. Oh Jesus, I really am losing it. I'm making situations in my head of how I could have achieved the low level of sanity that I am currently in…Damn you, James Potter!

No! I was kidding! Don't do anything to my love! Wait a minute…no. No no no no no no. I did not just admit that I am in love with James Potter. No…no. Yes…yes, I am.

God, that feels good to finally admit it. De Nile can only get you so far. Get it? The Nile? The river in Egypt? Fine, don't laugh. I thought it was pretty funny. Although it did sound better in my head…

Now, you might be wondering how I came to be in this love sick state…Well I said some of the stuff earlier. It all began with that particular staring contest. After that fateful day, I found my eyes wandering to the, no doubt, hot figure of James Potter. As I avidly watched him day after day, I realised that he was awesome and hot. But, like I said before, he was beautiful…as in a sculpture of a Greek God. And I'm not even kidding. Want to know how I know?

Well…even though James doesn't know… I'm gonna tell. So, after a month of obsessive staring I brought my "stalking" to a whole new level…um…I kinda spied on him at a private Gryffindor only mock qudditch match…with binoculars…I'm still a little ashamed but I also…kind of put a disillusionment charm on me and followed him into the changing room…yeah. Trust me. I was not the least bit regretful when…oh Gods. I'm starting to blush just thinking about it. Jesus! Not that IT! His tanned abs…and shoulders…and arms…and…other stuff. But not the other stuff that you'd guess. You blokes are sick…whoever you blokes are…Oh my gosh…I just called myself "you blokes." Insane, I tell myself. Just insane.

Anyway, so as I observed him I also noticed that he is just plain awesome. Sweet, smart, nice, caring, brave, charming, dashing…sorry, infatuation mode as my mates like to call it.

Well somewhere along the way I happened to fall in love with him…yay.

Bed time. Gotta go change into my new fav pyjamas. Toodles!

…Jesus. I just said goodbye to myself…crazy.

**_James' POV _**

Where the flipping Merlin's boxer's is my favourite shirt? I am really starting to suspect those fan girls from the JPFC (James Potter fan club). But…I went up to the president and she said she and the members only stole some of my boxers and…the trousers which I was wearing at the time. It was really reassuring. I wonder what they're going to do with them. On second thought…I really don't want to know. At all.

After that invigorating conversation I had searched all over my room and found nothing of my shirt. Then, I came with the conclusion that someone stole it…dun dun du-un…

So my suspects are as follows:

Sirius. (He sometimes steals my shirts so he can rip them apart as Padfoot.)

Wormtail. (He worships anything I own so I wouldn't be surprised if he stole it to just have something of mine.)

JPFC. (The president could've lied to me or she didn't know that someone had stolen it.)

Lily. (Hey, she technically is my flatmate. But I'm gonna cross that off immediately…)

An ex-girlfriend. (That could take a while…)

And that is the end of my list!

Okay, so Sirius is out. I already checked. Wormtail. Out, I had questioned and as always he nervously said no.

JPFC, no. I asked all of them. Obviously Lily is out. And I don't have any ex-girlfriends who would steal my shirt.

Disappointed and exhausted, I lay down on the couch and sighed. I guess I'll just have to ask my mum to buy me another next time she goes to Diagon Alley.

My eyes wandered to the door to Lily's room. Then again…maybe I should just ask if Lily has it…just in case. Maybe I shouldn't. It is 11 o'clock. I shouldn't. No, I should.

I got up. Okay, here goes. Carefully I walked over to the door and knocked.

I called strongly. "Hey, Lily? Have you seen my favourite…?" I stopped abruptly when Lily answered the door with a shirt that had the label, "Ditch the broom. Ride the Chaser."

More specifically, my all time favourite t-shirt. I was in shock. I stared at her with my mouth open. But when I saw her mouth open and fully red cheeks, I knew this wasn't a dream.

Finally, I came out of my absolute shock and slow grin overcame my face. Lily blushed even more, I am happy to report.

"So…I seemed to have found my favourite shirt." I said slyly.

She hid her face from my view and made to shut the door but I quickly put my foot in the door and stepped in. Lily looked up when I gently slammed the door shut.

"So…why are you wearing my shirt as pyjamas?" I asked slowly. It could be easily said that I needed some answers.

Lily stared at me and looked down, blushing like crazy all the while. "Oh my god. This is so embarrassing… Okay…I might have stolen it…" She mumbled. I am a little ashamed to admit that I thought she was quite adorable at this moment.

Next, I did something that I would only do in fantasies…I took my shirt off Lily. No, just kidding. I just used my finger to lift her chin and make her look at me.

"Why?" I asked patiently as our eyes locked.

"I don't know…I already have a couple of your other ones..and this one looked promising."

I looked at her strangely. "So you've taken them before?" I said slowly.

"Yes…" She started blushing again and looked down.

"And I always blamed Padfoot. Why?"

She looked up and what she said next changed my life forever. Too bad she said it so fast, I almost didn't catch it.

"Because I think I'm love with you. It first started with all the staring then I watched you at qudditch practice then the staring started all over again. Then I went into your room once to find something and there was this shirt there and it smelled so good. And I couldn't help it but I just stole it and then two weeks later I came and stole another because the last one's smell wore off and then that just kept on going on. And then I saw this shirt on you and I figured it's a cute shirt so I took it off you when you were sleeping, you look really adorable sleeping you know, and it just smelled amazing. And then I started wearing it every night to bed and I'm sorry! You must-"I cut her off before she could stop and kissed her.

Best. Snog. EVER! Her body fit perfectly in mine and she smelled like vanilla and biscuits. An admittedly strange combination but awesome and captivating at the same time. As I combed my fingers through her soft hair, I melted in ecstasy and pure happiness. This was the best moment of my life, no doubt. Not becoming Prongs for the first time, or riding a broom for the first time. No, none of those even compare. No, snogging Lily Evans is the best moment of my life.

Afterwards, she stared up at me dreamily. "So you don't hate me?" She said meekly.

I laughed. What an absurd idea! "What do you think?" I said before she kissed me again. This one was even better than before.

I looked at her in my arms. "You know you can keep that shirt. It looks better on you than me." I winked at her.

Yeah, life cannot get any better.


End file.
